The thing with being bisexual is that, no one really understands why you are "bi." There's always that question from both communities, why? And when you are all fighting for your rights, did you question why the other side of the planet existed? Or ever question why you deserved to exist?
I never came out to my parents 'cause they don't believe bisexuality exists and also, gays are just suffering from mental health problems. So said the Mom. And my ex-boss/ family doctor. The ex-boss knows I'm bisexual however but he claims I'm just confused, I just don't know what I want. And the gay community is just pretty much waiting for me to pick, am I gay or just a straight girl who likes to tease? Well, that sucks.
I do believe we live in a democracy and I do believe every philosopher agrees on this: we are man and what makes us man is choice. What makes us better than animals and plants and such is the fact that we have mind over matter, we choose whether or not to submit to our physical strengths or not. And if all else fails, we have money! Or the mental capacity to send the enemy into an institution with our taunting. Really, the mind is the most evil of strengths because I think it's much worse to make someone stay alive and hate themselves than to kill someone who's experienced love and other joys of life at least once. 'Cause then this person who now hates themselves will torture themselves until they die - possibly also killing themselves. Evil. But that's what makes us human, this ability to manifest thought and harvest choice. So if that's the foundation of all that is American and every revolutionary movement, why can't we accept bisexuals as they are a clear example of this freedom? OH YES, I am demanding that you believe we exist. 'Cause if we didn't, then Ancient Greece, Ancient Rome, the French and our Fore Fathers are crying just about now.
And I object to fact that, we assume every lesbian has "dyke" tendencies. Heh... and yes, I am laughing about this. You can be a queer and never a queen - or butch. (Bitch on the otherhand applies to both genders, straight or gay. Lol.) Seriously, I do enjoy men's clothing occasionally because, damn, boxers feel good. It's so airy and when you walk around in them or sleep in them - well, I prefer sleeping nude but - you get a little oxygen for your vagina. Honestly, this isn't a muffler contest - why suffocate the pussy when it's not during a sex act and like India Arie says in "Video," do whatever feels good in your soul. For the most part, I look like a girl even if I don't always respond or act like one. So people think I'm straight but I just like being a tease. But then, what the hell are all the world's whores for?
I am a relationship person, I'm not the type to sleep around even if I look it to some people. And for your information, although I've committed sexual acts within previous relationships, I've only lost my virginity in full recently. Lol... I'm either single and clean or in a relationship. I'm not your one-night tease. So even if I am bisexual, I don't live up to the stupid stereotypes because stereotypes of bisexuals usually aren't bisexuals. They are the what you call night club whores. They are sexually active people who are open to extra amounts of sex in new ways. And who can blame them? Less boring and best of both worlds, as some would call it. But most bisexuals aren't necessarily like that and it sucks we give off that immediate impression the minute someone knows we are bi. It's like, "Hi, I'm bi. Now you know you want to fuck me because you think I will bring you more people to fuck with and orgy like crazy." Or people just automatically assume we are greedy. Go suck a penis because that's so not the case. First of all, women and men suck in relationships equally. They both piss my balls off - hot or not so I don't know where greed comes into mind. I don't want either gender that badly 'cause they both know how to screw things up, inside-out, and over. We are human, after all. And although I am more physically attracted to feminine details, I appreciate masculinity. (But come on... women look better naked. They even force the option of exploration while men... well, it's just hanging around. You've seen it - nothing special. But a woman - you have to work it. Rwar. <3) Though, 'cause bis appreciate both beautys it doesn't mean we are greedy or promiscuous. I've never been with more than one person at a time even if I've been offered. But you know what, morals come into place too and really, I would hate to threesome with a couple. If it was two separate girls, maybe. But a couple - that's like asking to break them up, even if they both want it at the moment. Later on in their lives, one of them might just go after the third wheel and that would not be cool as the known contributor of the damage. No one wants to be stuck as that rebound option. So why do it? I don't. I'm pretty monogamous in my love life even if I support people who are promiscuous. I don't think life should have it's eternal binding or limits; that's why I am supporting bisexuality heavily. None the less, I do one person at a time - whether boy or boi. (Yes, boi is a gay term for lesbians.)
As for "confusion." Oh my god, I am not confused. Only ignorant straight people say that. If I was confused, I wouldn't have so much to say and say it so straight forward. If I was confused, I wouldn't even have an argument. It's just the fact that, bisexuality isn't in one direction. People want definite answers. They want clarity. They want stability and security and bisexuality does not provide that in their minds. That's 'cause you are ignorant. If everything in the world was so definite, we might as well stop dead. The Earth would stop turning and we would stop thinking. I hate that there is so much criticism towards us; straight people think we're confused and gay people think we are just teases. So what if we don't have a "straight" answer - we're not straight! But it doesn't mean we don't have as much to offer nor are we less dedicated. Gosh... I do know what I want and I want love. Love isn't prejudice to who it can be directed to, right? It applies the same for females and males so why not for a person who can apply it to anyone? I'm not pregnant and wondering whether or not I should marry someone for financial or emotional support 'cause I decided to not use a condom and have apparently fucked so many guys I don't know who the father is. Lol. That is not the case! Now that, is confusion. But for a true bisexual, you just have options because you are open to anything that can express love. Sorry people but we are lovers, get over it.
Right now I have a boyfriend. Honestly, I love my boyfriend. I really adore him. If we weren't together and I saw him off the streets and a few other sexy women, would I feel like sexing him over them fly honies? Hell no. Lol. But at this point, I wouldn't pick any girl over my guy because he over kills me with joy. I can't resist him. Lol... it's not even charm. I just really enjoy the time I do have with him. Therefore, bisexual or not, I chose love. I didn't date him because I'm into penis - that's not it at all. Just, he's so good to me and that smile on both our faces is what counts. If I was with a girl and that was the same situation, yeah I would say guys can make me smile too but currently a girl does. And the fact is, after being with each other, we both become less aggressive. I like that there's someone in this world I feel less aggressive with overall. Usually, there's a domineering one and usually that's me. Or in areas where I don't dominate, my partner will. But with Jase, it's easy going. We both have opinions that don't always align but neither of us are really aggressive nor passive with each other. This is a long distance relationship but we compromise, trust, and find time to appreciate each other - many couples don't have all three. I trust him so much even though he is a party boy and far away. But he knows I have lesbian tendencies too and is willing to trust that I won't fuck a girl while he's gone. That makes us work and really, sexual preferences don't matter if you don't have that trust. I see plenty insecure gay couples and straight couples - bisexual couples too. But the difference is trust and genuine love... so what the shit are you wack people talking about when you assume bisexuals are different from you? It's like being racist on a sex preference level. Can't you see stupidity when it's ramming it's way out of your mouth? With my boyfriend, however, we are very open to ideas and change with each other and the fact that I feel comfortable saying anything makes this relationship phenomenal. But in the end, I'm still not straight. Women still look better naked but I definately want my boyfriend. He's just too good to me... plus, he has the one of the nicest ass I've ever seen LOL... and I really must give that credit. I can't leave him no matter how hot women are. Lol. But I may look. =P
Anyways, hope you all enjoyed National Coming Out Day... I had to work and such and the climate was dreary so I didn't physically participate in the holiday. Plus, my school is Catholic - I doubt we are so open to LGBT events yet even if we are open to expression of other cultures and religion. There are LGBT people in my school and so far they haven't been shunned but St. John's LGBT community is like... 1-2%? There are plenty schools with more than 5% so there are event set-ups in other schools but unlikely my own. Lol... none whatsoever. Plus I had no class today so I might not have gone on campus even if there was but I guess I will celebrate with this entry... even though National Coming Out Day is well over - whoas, 3am - since I am such a night/ early morning person. Lol... well next October 11th, you should all show a little more support - even if you are straight.
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